Hundreds of thousands dead. Hundreds of thousands of livelihoods lost. Millions out of work. Businesses that have been open for generations shuttered. Families and friends separated from one another over the holidays due to social distancing. All around me, I see suffering. Sadness. Frustration. Angst. Despair. I see pain. I read the handwriting of despondency on the faces of those I walk by in public. A grimace of oppression has settled in over the course of 2020. Where is the light in the course of graceless darkness?
Everyday, I’m reminded, that no matter how my circumstances may have changed, those I seek to help still suffer. This site, and everything it stands for, is something I’ve been called to do. In this age of Covid and the struggles that come with it, dashed dreams remain as the consequence of what has been a nightmare scenario. Despite, (or because of) all the challenges I too have suffered as a result of this, lately, all I do in my private time is try to come up with ways to help improve the lot for others.
My efforts are never enough.
I do this because I know how it feels when the walls of life conspire against you, slowly squeezing you in–shutting you down. I know how it feels when the cold bitter winds chip away at the best parts of your “self,” until whatever you once believed in and was blessed with, by the one true Providential power, became utterly lost in a dustbin of darkness.
To dwell in light, one must seek it. I feel myself walking in that invisible path which results in inexorable changes indescribable in ways not even my dreams could imagine. As its’ outstretched arms pull me in closer, fear and doubts like to creep in from the shadows, telling me all the reasons why I can’t do it. It would be easier to stay down and just focus on myself and my own problems. To some, that would even be the smarter option. To walk away from the unknown now would be understandable yet unacceptable. But there’s this voice inside of me fueled by light. I do not know much about it, but whatever it is, it’s rising.
I have to help people.
To any who read my posts, I will not neglect you and will not be indifferent to you in your time of need. The tips and advice I pen on these pages is my way of eradicating the swaths of disappointment and dreams deferred in the hearts and lives of the many. For a long time I sold myself short. I didn’t aim for the stars or anything at all really. I just “blended in.” I wasn’t a standout in anything and frankly didn’t try to be. I was so self-centered that whilst depriving the world of the best version of myself I was suffocating myself at the same time.
I declare here and now that this will work. Lives will be changed for the better. How ever much it takes, I will write what is necessary until it resonates in the hearts and the minds of the many. I’m 36 right now, and for the first time in my life, I actually believe in myself. The purpose of wanting to help others and the responsibility associated with that mission absolutely demand nothing less out of me than my best. When I’m at my best, you are at your best. And when you are at your best, I’m at my best. It’s a circle of limitless give and take where everyone involved benefits perpetually.
I want for my success to be less about the pursuit of power and craving the spotlight, and more about connecting with and helping others in need.
It is more important to “know” you can, than to “think” you can.
The primary egotistical aspect behind all this lies in me making you better for life, so that you can make life better for you and your loved ones. In my soul, I know I’m uniquely qualified to make you better. How ever good you may be already, you will be better equipped still to carry out your mission in this life, whatever that may be.
There’s this internal loftiness that continually ignites the pistons of my mind in this journey. I’ll never matter unless I can show someone else that they matter. Their life matters. YOUR life matters. Failing to get that message across leaves me awash in a repository of guilt without return. Every word I write must exceed my efforts because that’s how important you are to me. If you read my work, you absolutely have to succeed.
For years, I lived just trying to survive being buffeted by forces as imposing, yet unpredictable, as a Typhoon on the doorstep of a city. Tragedy and setbacks will leave scars–that is meant to happen (so you never forget how far you’ve come). But in return, don’t grow cynical–you have too much to offer to traffic your gifts in the despair of bitterness.
May comfort power bless all those who take time out to read this. YOU are why I do this. I will close out this short post with a short prayer.
Dear Lord God, protect my family and I. Forgive me of my sins and help me guard against the folly of hubris and the depression of despair. I ask of you to bless me with continued wisdom to do what is right and just. And as an instrument of your will, do what you must, to see your message through.
Whether you are a believer or not, I pray that the grace of our Father be with us all, because we need that now as much as we ever have.
–Daniel Cousin
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