Why Do I Fail?

I have been such a failure. I have lost and been forgotten. I have tasted the bitter venom of being nullified to the point where all I felt was a bucket of despair being poured out onto me. At times, life has been a struggle. And for much of my adult existence, I have been on my grind like coffee beans. Working hard and getting nowhere in the process is no crystal stair.

Life has become an interminable series of: wash, rinse, and repeat. Any of you that relate to this, I feel your pain and frustration.

I do not have endless zero’s in my checking account. I do not own a large home. And I do not drive a luxury car. When it comes to overwhelming success in terms of material gain, I leave a lot to be desired.

As I sit, I am 36 years old. I do not have any noticeable acclaim. I am a single man without children that has never been married. I do not hold any degrees from any university. I have managed to complete a two-year course in Information Technology, so while I do have a certificate, ultimately, I did nothing with it.

I do work full-time as a machine technician/operator and it is a great stable job. I can not express how fulfilling it is to earn a steady consistent check every two weeks. But this opportunity arose only after years of stress and struggle working in sales–primarily as a car salesman.

Anyone who has worked in a commission based industry is well attuned to how unpredictable life can be with regard to finances. One month I am on top of the world with enough money to pay the bills and even put some aside in savings. Then the following month, I am back on struggle street, sometimes not even earning enough to keep the bills paid (on time at least).

No wonder I was drinking 5-6 cups of (black) coffee a day. Nothing like being hyperactive to go along with your helpings of sales-related stress. Still however, it is not all a tale of woe.

I can attest that there is no better developer of character than the force that comes up against us commonly known as struggle. I’m old enough to realize now that a lot of the things we do are based on pure emotion as opposed to “cool-hand Luke” like control. The hardship that follows acting from that mindset can sometimes serve one purpose and one purpose only–your destruction, as you sit, in that moment of time.

When life breaks you, it is up to you to birth a new one. This is why life is so hard. Everything you have ever prayed for and deeply desired can be yours, but you have to pay the price. You have to be prepared. The blessings do not fall from the sky nearly as frequently as the hard lessons required for their fruition. I myself have been so humbled by that mind-numbing sense of defeat so severely I have but no choice other than to prevent this pain for as many people as possible. I know of no other way to accomplish this task than to do what comes most natural to my mind–writing.

If you happen to be sitting about wondering what on Earth you could possibly learn from a man who has made so many mistakes, I do not blame you. That said, if you have made it this far, perhaps you can walk a bit further. As comfortable as I have become to being uncomfortable, I have more than a few stories to tell with valuable lessons attached. Any curiosity you may have, I will here and now as follows transcribe to your mind.

In a sense, for as long as I can remember, I have been lost, or rather, was.

And that is my “why.” This is the driver for this website. It is the same reason why I cannot wait to write more and more posts so I can share with you all as much positive good energy as possible. This life is hard! The way I combat the difficulties is by improving the quality of the lives of others such as yourself, as best I can. I absolutely cannot stand that people the world over are operating at less than their best. This is my motivation not just for my blog, but for my life! This is why it is so important for me to write to you all. I absolutely DO NOT want any of you to end up in my position.

If you read a post of mine, and you absolutely do not come away from my post thinking, or feeling, or doing better of yourself, for yourself, and for others, well…. my post is a FAIL.

This is how serious this is for me. I want to own this challenge because I know I can make a difference in YOUR life. I would not waste either your time or mine if I did not know I could. All the pain I have experienced in this life–I absolutely must take it and turn it into something good. This blog is my way of doing just that. It is this fear of others having to feel what I have that drives me. It is tireless. Relentless. Without end. I absolutely will not and can not let anyone else feel as downtrodden as I have.

Do something you love to do and you never have to work a day in your life. If that something does not yet exist, you are the one who must create it.

Life should never be a bore. Life should be an interesting adventure EVERY SINGLE DAY. Seriously. There is no reason why this cannot be possible for ALL of us. This is a standard I aspire for myself to live daily. Do I always hit my mark? No! But that does not mean I will not try to the next day, and the day after that.

It is more important to know you can, than to think you can.

I never tell myself “I can’t.” The only two words powerful enough to overcome the most debilitating of expressions are “I can.”

The moment you tell yourself you can do something, you reject any and all belief of impending doom. What you are really doing is something beyond the description of mere words. When you tell yourself that you can do it, you open a portal–one of your own creation–that has the capacity and wherewithal to make for a marked change in your circumstances, no matter how extenuating.

Just as failure is a possibility, so is success. Just as sadness can populate your demeanor, so can your irreplaceable friend known as happiness make itself known to you at any time of day. There are not many changes more important than your mood that you have the ability to change in an instant. Some years ago, upon completion of a self-help book, I made a decision that I would not wait to be happy any longer. Then and there, I would practice working on being happy. After some effort on my part these changes in my thinking eventually became habitual to the point where it is now largely automatic. I made a vow to myself that nothing and I mean nothing is allowed to ruin my day. I suffer bumps and falls and knocks and tumbles like anyone else.

But I made the decision that there is no path to happiness. Happiness is the path.

As with any change, especially those of the positive nature, having to wait is the biggest challenge. Greatness takes time. Whether you have one pan in the fire or several, it takes time for them to sizzle. Do your part to the best of your abilities. Just as you would with a homemade recipe, gather the best ingredients. Pour your heart and soul into your design, all the while, getting the fires started. Just like baking a cake, it takes time. You cannot force the recipe through, because if you could, it would cease to be a process. As with any process, one of the steps required is patience.

For a very long time, one of my biggest problems was my contentment to be a consumer as opposed to a creator. And by that, I am emphasizing something far more important than creation of a product or service that you can sell and market. Something we can all improve upon is being better at creating our own lives as we see fit. This is something you can absolutely do but you have to take the responsibility of giving yourself complete control over yourself to make this happen.

Many of us leave this critical role to forces outside ourselves. We take credit for our successes and blame circumstances, beyond our control, for our failures. That particular mindset is the mindset of a consumer. A creator looks at the entire picture as a whole and takes either credit for its success or responsibility for its failure. The more you take control, the less time you will have to spend taking responsibility.

A creator takes control. A consumer takes responsibility.

I think it’s safe to say which side of the table you would rather sit on.

We all have our roles to play in this grand movie known as life. I am finally ready to perform my role that has been tailored due to my experiences and the choices I have made. Mistakes I have made, and the results thereof, are my fuel for your fire.

This is about me making you better for life, so that you can make life better for yourself.

I want to be the very best in the world at assisting you to be At Your Best–consistently. I am still working through kinks as I have much more I need to learn. But I want you all to know that as I continue to grow, I will do all I can to take you with me.

I never tell myself “I can’t.”

–Daniel Cousin

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